epic: extending beyond the usual or ordinary; extraordinary.

Things in my life that are epic:
-Jackie is now a resident of my apartment.
-my bff is going to live very close to me very soon.
-three or four songs on the new Alanis album.
-my new phone. Shit, that's beyond epic.
-the amount of pain that is in my body from working out with my bomb-ass trainer. But seriously I feel like someone set off a stick of dynamite in my abdomen.
-this picture --



I know I always say that there are exciting things afoot, but I've been serious and continue to be serious. We're talking BIG. Grand, legendary, majestic, and... well, to continue to beat it to death, epic.

Between long hours and bad situations, I've gone through a long span of non-blogging. I've been down in the dumps and haven't felt like faking interest in anything but myself and my bad mood, to be honest, so I've kind of kept to myself.

I've learned an incredibly valuable lesson in this time, however. Life boils down to your perspective of it. Seriously. It sounds ridiculously cliché, but it's true. I've gone through a lot of bullshit and have been in a horrific funk since the beginning of April, and while there have been some circumstances where I just couldn't help it, a lot of it is cause and effect.

So last week I tried an experiment. Have a positive outlook. Have a sense of fucking humor about the situation. All that "think positive" crap, you know? Well, wouldn't you know it, I've had a fucking fantastic week. All the bullshit is the same (if not more ridiculous), but I've managed to stop taking everything so seriously and start finding the humor in it all.

The other thing that I've gotten out of this experience is the strength to claw myself out of my funk. I've had a number of people try to pull me out of it, and I just got mad at them. "I'm mad, I want to stay mad, so leave me the fuck alone!" I needed to find my own way out, and I'm happy I did it myself.

I'm back with a vengeance, but a positive vengeance. I have a lot of catching up to do.



Five songs. I owe WAY more than that.

Alanis Morissette - Right Through You
I rediscovered "Jagged Little Pill" during my recent dark period. I'm so dramatic.

Tom Waits - I Beg Your Pardon
No need for justification. PEHDTSCKJMBA.

Citizen Cope - Appetite (for Lightin' Dynamite)
I'm pretty obsessed with this song right now. It's one of those SERIOUS head-bobbers. You'll know what I mean.

The Gap Band - Outstanding
I just listened to this song and ended up dancing all over my room. That's all I have to say about that.

Journey - Sweet and Simple
This album ("Evolution") has skyrocketed into my top ten favorite albums of all time, and it's edging its way into the top five. Absolutely phenomenal. Make sure to make it to 2:48, when Steve Perry OWNS ALL OF YOUR ASSES.

And, of course, my current celebrity crush:


The fictional Charlie Kelley. Illiterate, hygenically-challenged, and an awesome dancer. We'd have the most foul-mouthed and explosive relationship of all time.


Exciting things to come.

Have you felt like you're finally starting to get the recognition you deserve for all the hard work you've been doing?

There's a long, long road ahead but at least it's starting to happen.



Game on.

In the span of three days, I:
-met Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords
-gave Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords my phone number because he asked me for it
-was on the guest list for the Flight of the Conchords show
-was unaware that I was on the guest list for the Flight of the Conchords show until a solid twenty hours after the show because my phone is a piece of shit
-cut the ever loving Christ out of my ring finger on my right hand, sending me into shock and leaving out a lot of memories of what exactly happened
-met Gavin DeGraw and gave him a harsh back-handed compliment, pinkie-swearing with him to stop putting out shitty music and start making the good music that I believe is inside of him
-bought new shoes.

I don't like to talk about my deepest personal feelings very much in this particular avenue of expression, but I just want to say that even though I have had plenty of reasons through the years, I have never once cried at work until tonight.

I figure if I can emotionally put myself out there in the big blue building that I call home, I can out it on my own fuckin blog, right?

Enlightenment reveals itself in odd forms. Most recently and specifically, I was talking last night with a friend of mine about something utterly ridiculous and she said, "Girl, you are more than the situation." In context, it made absolutely no sense, and we laughed about it for quite some time.

Throughout the night, every time I felt overwhelmed, upset, or worried, the words echoed in my head. "You are more than the situation." Okay. I am.

Late last night, I sat in a swanky restaurant, drinking a glass of pinot noir with the man in the three thousand dollar suit, whispering about changes and speaking in euphemisms.

"Times are hard," he said, in no uncertain terms.
"You are more than the situation, man," I replied.
He looked at me long and hard before saying, "That's deep."

And that's when I realized that some people know more than they let on.