I've never danced as much in my whole life as I did this week.

-The 22 bus sometimes smells like a petting zoo. I dread waiting on 8th for that goddamn transfer bus because I know it's just going to smell like bird poop and goats. Actually, I dread the whole process. The 6 to downtown isn't that bad, but everything from then on is a terrible experience every time. I swear to god the entire stretch between 9th and Hennepin and 8th and Nicollett is a fucking wind tunnel. And don't even get me started on CANDY LAND. I walk by it and I get a blast of hot popcorn/lollipop flavored air. Gag. There must be a better way.

-I hate kids. Well, this was something that I already knew. And I suppose I don't hate all kids. Just the ones who come into my work. No, even that's not true -- it's just the "child actors." Oh god I hate them. I hate them so much. Just because you're an actor and you're eleven does not give you license to be a dick to me. And why are you a dick? You're eleven. What in the fuck gives you a reason to be a dick at the age of eleven? What, "Hannah Montana" comes on after your bedtime? And WHY are you wearing so much makeup? YOU ARE ELEVEN. And PLEASE never mention the fact that you are having a "party in your pants and so-and-so is invited" because you are ELEVEN YEARS OLD and should not be talking this way. This is why I only work the express bar for intermission because otherwise I would end up throwing a kid out the fifth story window.

-Holy crap, guys, I drink way differently. I've traded in White Russians for Southern Comfort old fashioneds with blood oranges, gin and tonics for ginger-infused manhattans, merlots and cabernets for tempranillos and malbecs. I'm also really enjoying Newcastle lately, but fear not -- Grain Belt Premium is still my beer of choice.

-Apparently guys who wear tight girl pants can still have them sagging so low that their ass is almost fully exposed. I believe this to be a manifestation of some kind of social confusion, but the physics of it kind of confuses me.

-Rock Band may be the coolest game of all time. The drum part is really really fun. I played percussion from sixth grade through twelfth grade so I thought it'd be a cakewalk, but it definitely reminded me that I've always sucked at the kit, which is a crash course in multitasking. They've got some killer songs on there, including Bon Jovi, one of the few bands that I've always felt the previous installations of this kind of game have been missing. In an ideal situation, this game should be played on a cold and blustery night in March with new friends, donning swimwear and drinking cocktails with stolen ice.

-Whoa, I just realized my birthday is in two weeks. Ready your presents and your livers, kids. National Anniemosity Day is going to hit Minneapolis hard.

-Miscellaneous:
*Word of the month: "ferosh."
*Bar of the month: the 19 in Uptown.
*Food of the month: Yellow pepper and black bean salad on mixed greens with parmesan cheese and black olive vinaigrette. Salivating all over the keyboard.
*New favorite thing of the month: the Alfred Hitchcock spread in the March issue of Vanity Fair by Julian Broad, Norman Jean Roy, Mark Seliger, and Art Streiber. Be sure to click on the photos to see the originals. Aklfksdhisdka yes!
*Song obsessions of the month that do not include my newly-outed love, Fall Out Boy:
"Mississippi Queen" by Mountain
"Sh-Boom" by the Chords (I'm a sucker for this music)
"Mineshaft" by Dessa
"Searching for the Ghost" by Heartless Bastards

fin.