I don't know if I like the new layout. Something seems off with my banner. I think it's the blurred lens effect (which I actually didn't have much to do with). Tweaking commences after I start my new job... tomorrow morning. I'll fill you in.

Also, my final night at Job #1 is rapidly approaching. It hasn't hit me that I'm not going to have to go there EVER AGAIN unless I want to (and I will), but it's beginning to sink in that I won't be bartending anymore, and that makes me really sad. Suggesting drinks, making layered shots, popping my collar when someone compliments my white russians... I'm going to miss it, but I won't miss it there.

Ugh, I really hope I don't get all nostalgic soon.

I suppose it's time for a Weekly 5.... but.... I'm sorry, I don't know if you guys are going to want to take these. My taste in music has PLUMMETED. When my computer is fixed, I promise I'll post some music that doesn't absolutely suck.

You know what, I'm going to completely revoke that apology. These are my guilty pleasure songs and I stand beside them, proud to support them.

Chamillionaire - Ridin' Dirty
THE INFAMOUS CHAMILLIONAIRE SONG THAT I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF. If anyone has that other song.. "Grown and Sexy".. I would really appreciate the hookup.

Justin Timberlake - SexyBack
I can't stop listening to this song either. I think I made Dave play it three times last night at work. I'm hooked. It may even be my new myspace profile song. God damn, it's awesome.

Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous
Yeah, this one too. Who knew that the "I'm Like A Bird" hippie chick would crank out the "DANCE HIT OF THE SUMMER"? Not I.

Sean Paul & Rhianna - Break It Off
Neither of these two artists particularly strike my fancy, so it shocked the hell out of me that I actually liked this song.

Black Eyed Peas - Pump It
I have a ridiculous love/hate relationship with the Black Eyed Peas. For example, I hate Fergie. I think she's unnecessary and overrated and ugly, but I know that I'm going to listen to her new song (despite its stupid-ass lyrics) over & over Pelowski-style until I'm completely sick of it and never want to hear it again. It's the group I hate to love, but I know their songs are so catchy that I won't be able to stay away. BUT... this song I just straight-up love.


Cheers.

There is so much happening in pop culture right now that I can hardly process it all at once, and I'm a pro. But for real, what the fuck is happening to celebrities??

Exhibit A: Eddie Van Halen.


My sources tell me that Mr. Van Halen is going to write and perform a few songs for a porn flick. I don't know how to feel about this, aside from blindsided. All I'm saying is that this had better be amazing. If Eddie is wasting his talents on something that doesn't really have much musical direction outside of "bwa-tchika bwa-tchika bwa-wah," I'm going to be super disappointed.

Exhibit B: Gene Simmons.


As if we needed another bizarro reality show. Don't get me wrong -- everyone knows I love CelebReality. "The Surreal Life" is literally a gift from the gods of television. But.... A&E decided that Gene Simmons deserves his own reality show (cleverly titled "Family Jewels"). Ordinarily I would think that this is awesome, but there are two serious flaws in this logic. Number One -- Ozzy Osbourne did it first. Rock star turns family man, still has weird rock and roll adventures, and manages to run his household. Been there, done that. Number Two -- Gene needs to be wearing his KISS makeup if he's going to be on television, because I'll be damned if that ugly mug is going to be on my screen for a half hour every week.

Exhibit C: Steely Dan vs. Owen Wilson.

VS.


For real, I love Steely Dan. But man, I cannot tell if those guys are making up this fight with Owen Wilson or just old stoners. Here is their letter to Owen's brother, Luke, about Owen's portrayal of Randy Dupree in the comedy hit of the summer, "You, Me, and Dupree." I felt like I was reading a letter written by The Dude. Please, Walter and Donald, please, let it be tounge-in-cheek.

(Know what I just realized? Walter and Donny are two characters in "The Big Lebowski." Coincidence?)

The seventies and eighties have blasted their way back into pop culture in fuckin weird ways. And as much as I am wary of all this news...... I love it all the same.

I received an email this morning from Mr. Barrett Chase reminding me that I've left my faithful, devoted readers high and dry... and not for lack of love, mind you, for lack of internet connection and then lack of working computer, thanks to Jim, Creepy/Clumsy Maintenance Man Extraordinaire.

But fear not, dearest friends. My darling friend Leanna is in the depths of Alaska for a week-ish and has generously loaned me her computer battery (because she is most excellent), so as the great Steve Perry says, "so now I come to you with open arms" on an open internet connection.

So instead of using my witty outlook on pop culture or my whiny attitude about the 80's coming back to fashion (jean vests??), I decided that I would catch everyone up on what's going on with moi. This is a henna-stained installation of Anniemosity - What's Up?

As most of you know, I've been going through an extremely stressful week and a half with work issues. Thanks to my amazing luck, I haven't had to go through it alone. You wonderful kids have been unbelievable to me, especially those who are going through similar situations (Megan, Leanna, and Laura, represent!), and those who have heard me say "Fuck that" about seventy nine thousand times. Megan has made the first move...... and over drinks at RT's last night, I finally made the decision to follow suit. I know I've threatened it for awhile and made a half-ass attempt to leave, but it's happening for real this time. Memoirs are being compiled. Loves it.

Job #2 is quite excellent and here's hoping it stays that way.

I still don't know how to not make an ass out of myself while sober in front of local rock stars (but I do know how to hold a conversation with them when I've had a Premium, two White Russians, and a Jag-Bomb. Is that weird?). I'm not the only one, however. Smoothie McPelowski, when introduced, called a certain rock star a "sweaty motherfucker" and said rock star excused himself to the bathroom.

Al Sparhawk is still a badass.

Working at Job #1 has turned me on to some awful music, and I'm not going to lie, I'm hooked. I don't know where Chamillionaire came from, but I hope to God he's sticking around.

I've become addicted to egg bagels and Lake Superior Kayak Kölsch.

I have officially seen every episode of "Sex & The City." I'm on Team Mr. Big, and have been since Episode One. That's vital. Aiden is a close second, but Team Aiden, you're kidding yourselves.

And now, Miss Megan and I are on our way to a 12:45 appointment to remove our unnecessary body hair, as en vogue women of our age do. Not going to lie -- slightly terrified. I'll let you know how it goes.

It's so hot.
It's the kind of hot that changes everything.

It's the kind of hot that when you look at yourself at the end of the day you barely recognize yourself anymore.

It's the kind of hot where friends become monsters and everyone is an asshole.

It's the kind of hot that is inspiring big big change.

Since we last met, I've been gallivanting across state lines. I've compiled a list of things that I have learned in each respective place (chronologically, of course).

Los Angeles, California.
Uff-da. So much to see and do here. Ate at the best vegan restaurant ever. Saw a REAL LIVE HOOKER, pink fishnets and all. Loves it. Four stars.

Venice Beach, California.
This was almost the highlight of California for lil' ol' Anniemosity. It's a gigantic open market that stretches along the ocean (including the highly-hyped but highly disappointing Muscle Beach). If you've ever seen the documentary "Dogtown and Z-Boys" (or the less exciting and much lamer "Lords of Dogtown"), Venice Beach is where it all began. There was a lot of the same graffitti that I'd seen in the documentary. Quite exciting. Step-Brother swears he saw John Frusciante surfing, although I really don't believe him. Also, I had the strongest margarita I've ever had. Would you like some mix with your tequila? No, sir, I'm good. I'm goooood. Five stars.



Hollywood, California.
ANNIEMOSITY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD. Jesus Christ, it was exciting. Rodeo Drive, Grauman's Chinese Theater, the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Hollywood & Vine, and another hooker!!!! I almost died in Hollywood. I loved every fucking second of it. And I saw Joaquin Phoenix walking down Robertson Boulevard. Fuck yeah. Five fucking stars.



San Diego, California.
Well, it was the San Diego Zoo, to be exact. I didn't get to see much of San Diego, save through the dirty windows of the hot and smelly bus transporting us from the port to the zoo. But the zoo!! We spent from 9am to 4pm running around the zoo, trying to see everything, and we only made it through half the park. I'd highly reccommend going there -- excellent. Four stars. (The hippos were bitchin'.)



Catalina.
When I get rich and famous, I'm retiring to Catalina. Gorgeous, although quite touristy. I went fucking parasailing. Five stars. Five motherfucking stars.



Encinada, Mexico.
Ridiculous. Everything was for sale, and everything was negotiable. And it was hot. But it was my first excursion beyond the US Border, so it was pretty exciting. Don't drink the water, and stock up on booze if you can. Four stars.



Atlanta, Georgia.
To be fair, I ate one meal here at a restaurant called Tw!st, but it was a good meal. Spinach and lemon tortollini. And I had blueberry upside-down cake. Delicious. The staff was bitter. Four stars.

Eufala, Alabama.
(Pronounced "You Fah-lla." I think.) Only drove through the town (and ate at the Golden Corrall, which had a surprisingly decent breakfast buffett with AMAZING TOAST), but I was surprised. Lovely town, GIGANTIC mansions, abominable traffic. Three stars.

Destin, Florida.
In all honesty, my experience in Destin, Florida didn't really extend beyond getting drunk with my cousins. (Aside: I learned what a Jag-Missile is, and I wish I hadn't.) Don't get me wrong, I loved spending time with my family and I loved being on the beach, but jesus, the place was packed full of redneck tourists and fire-breathing ants. Three stars for the town, five stars for the company.


There you have it, folks: Anniemosity's tour of the country. My internet will be set up this week, so I am officially returning to the Internet with a bang.


PS: I need celebrity gossip updates. Are Jen & Vince really getting married?