yes it's 3am and no, there's no reason i should still be awake at this time... but apparently my sleep schedule is forever fucked.

i want to talk about the thing i miss the most by living in the house i currently reside in (in duluth, that is):



this is my cat, high as a kite off of his annual christmas catnip. he's pretty much the coolest motherfucker ever. we got him eleven years ago when he was a baby kitten, so he should be acting like an old man right about now, but he's still as tenacious as the day we got him. cats rule. no, fuck that, MY cat rules.

hey, kids in my age group, remember "good burger?" that shit was on tv today, and who should i find to be in it, aside from the delightful kel and the obnoxious kenan? GEORGE CLINTON, that's who. intense. (by the way, if you're ever considering taking a stroll down memory lane by watching this flick, DON'T. take me seriously here.) for the love....


also, if you have any hardcore skeletons in your closet and you're planning on dating me, please don't tell my mother about them before you decide to make your move. it makes things kind of weird three years later, and it also ruins a great cd.

i've been doing a lot of thinking about that whole "path not taken" thing these last few days. what ifs are always ridiculous to me because i am a firm believer that every choice you make directs you to the place you are supposed to be... but sometimes it's hard not to think about them. for example, where would i be if i would have stayed in woodbury? how about if i decided not to go on the freshman kayaking trip where i met pelowski? what if i would have studied music as i had originally intended, or if i had stuck with the graphic design thing? what if i had decided not to go to duluth at all?

reunions are always a trip for me too, because i get a chance to see people who have chosen a different path than i have. other people's lives interest me very much. i'm always the quiet one, wanting to hear about what everyone else is doing.




we had a going-away bonfire tonight for one of my oldest friends, who is being shipped out to an undisclosed location in a few days. it was the most bizarre of reunions for me, but it was quite nice.

it's weird how people change as they grow up. i've known these people for a very long time, and despite all the growing and half-assed maturing and changing we've done, it's all very much the same as it was five years ago.

i don't know if you guys read this, but matthew, thank you for your gracious hospitality, and christopher, best of luck to you.


also, with new year's eve approaching, it is my sincere hope that i will have a few visitors at work that night. i'm talking to YOU.

nostalgia is a weird motherfucker.

i've spent the last few days in my hometown with my best friend (the sal paradise to my dean moriarty, whom i've been friends with since 8th [9th?] grade). tonight we went to our old digs (perkins) and did our thing (drink coffee and smoke cigarettes and eavesdrop) and decided that it was far too early to go home (midnight), so we did what we always do (drive around our conjoined suburbs).

and what is a car ride without music? i dug through her cd case looking for some of the old mixes i had made back when i was a music snob (ha). i ran across one i had made on april 9, 2002 and popped it in. immediately, an obnoxious guitar riff blasted through her saturn and i cringed. what the fuck is this shit? i thought. "what the fuck is this shit?" she asked, reading my mind (as usual). within a few seconds we both recognized the song as some really shitty pop/punk song we used to listen to and i skipped the track. the next was "blackbird" by the beatles -- a good song, but awful in the flow of the mix. the next was a random song by the offspring -- skip. the next was a slow, melancholy ben folds song -- skip. suddenly i heard the familiar distortion of the overused power chord, and i recognized the song immediately. "oh my god," i said. sal paradise echoed my sentiments. neither of us sang along, although i saw her mouthing the words out of the corner of my eye.

we were transported to a different place, a different time, where we were both completely different people with completely different ideas and priorities. immediately i was back in eleventh grade, angsty as could be, wondering why nobody but this shitty emo band could understand the emotional despair i was going through. i remember thinking how incredibly powerful and deep the song was, and god, this guy really really knows how i feel!!

"i miss youuuuu... i miss youuuu soooooo,"* the singer continued to whine.

"jesus," sal murmured, bringing me out of my daze.

"that was a long-ass time ago," i said. we were silent for a few moments before i forced myself to change the track. the nostalgia was making me sick.

this inspired me to create a weekly 5, the theme being songs i listened to in that time period that don't completely blow ass, but i could only come up with one or two (and even those are ridiculously whiny and emo... i guess i still keep them around for the sake of the memories they hold [cough chad alan cough he signed my arm cough]).

instead, here is a weekly 5. the theme? melancholy songs that are NOT emo and do NOT remind me of teenage angst.

1. leonard cohen - chelsea hotel #2 (the best of)
-pretty much the most depressing song i've ever heard. rufus wainwright does an excruciatingly sad version of it as well.

2. low - murderer (murderer ep... i think)
-i'm aware that this is more angry than melancholy, but i've been looking for a reason to share this song for awhile because jesus christ it's amazing.

3. cat power - wonderwall (live on bbc, with an annoying intro by a pretentious british man with a lovely accent)
-i'm aware that this one is not really melancholy either and another one i'm looking for an excuse to share. cat power fricken rocks.

4. jeff buckley - grace (grace)
-yes. yes yes yes. yes.

5. lou reed - caroline says II (nyc man)
-caroline says as she gets up off the floor / why is it that you beat me, it isn't any fun.. ....you get the picture.

saaaaaaaad bastard music for such a happy holiday season.

ps: puh-leeease check this out (if you can ignore the juvenile comments and the token cleavage-filled livejournal user pic). i haven't been able to catch it yet, but god knows i'm trying.


*five points if you can guess what the song is.. although i can't promise i'll admit it if you guess correctly.

xmas break friggin rocks so far.

moreover, casinos friggin rock. and let me tell you why.

mystic lake is hosting three amazing acts in the coming months (george carlin, lewis black, and tom jones), and treasure island has gilbert gottfried next month. serious OMG there. if i was paid better, i'd be at all four, no question.

but most of all, casinos generally give me BEST NIGHT EVERs.


(no, i'm not chewing on her arm... wait, yes i am.)

thursday night, i saw my two favorite minneapolans (?), samantha "two hands" scott and joel "ghey" mathias. after being generally obnoxious at old chicago, disclosing every aspect of our respective sexual pasts, getting ridiculously lost, peeing in a random park, and shouting about bears in "eden fucking prarie," we finally ended up at mystic lake. the actual time spent in the casino was pretty lame overall, but i must say that thursday night was one of the "funnest" i've ever had.



friday night, amanda and i went to treasure island and collectively had the best luck i've ever witnessed in a casino (save this night). despite the fact that i broke three machines in the process and i may have a new gambling problem, it was great fun. great fucking fun.

when you have flashing lights and free pop, who needs money anyway?

i feel as though i should do the required "year in review" post, seeing as most of the other blogs i read are doing the same.

anniemosity's year in review.
i made some kick ass friends this year (specifically on st. patrick's day). renee, tony, jason, chin, dan sarles, my darling and beautiful roommates, the half of the theater department i didn't already know, my wonderful co-workers, and anyone else i may have forgotten. thanks for a great '05, bitches.

i re-entered the duluth music scene (after the fall of that one band i managed that one time), met some pretty bitchin individuals, and scored some sweet opportunities. duluth's artistic community continually amazes me, and i'm real glad that i can not only be a teeny tiny cog in its interworkings, but i can also sit back and enjoy it.

i saw low three times, atmosphere once (almost thrice), heiruspecs twice. everything good that happened to samantha and me revolved around crew jones' shows at pizza luce. and i met al sparhawk and didn't (immediately) pee myself.

i also met a hero of mine this year and didn't (immediately) pee myself.

i also got semi-famous for a few seconds because of some pictures i took. that was pretty sweet.

my bowling skills severely improved this year. i sucked pretty hardcore in the spring (and into the summer, but that one was probably because i had been chugging beers in the bathroom with a certain fellow badass), but the last time i bowled, i kicked some serious ass.

i held a really shitty job for awhile, which drove me to a few days of brilliant blogging and temporary insanity. i was then unemployed for far too long. out of the ashes of my shitty job rose the phoenix that is my new job (and the possibility of a second job)... even though the adjustment period gave me a slight bout of insanity as well.

this summer was fun. hey, remember when we were out on the balcony drinking beer and playing guitar and the guy in the house behind us yelled "freebird?" hey dan bigwood, remember when we played poker that one night forever and then went all in on the last hand and you beat me with an ace high? hey, dave muhs, remember when you fucking beat me up? hey Ghey, remember when we walked away from black bear $100 richer? hey samantha, remember when we drunkenly skinnydipped in lake superior? hey kecia & sarah, remember when we wrote three kick ass songs? hey muhs, remember coming up with "big red moose" and laughing so hard we nearly died? hey dave, remember when you jumped over the bonfire naked? hey carissa, remember being my saving grace? we were all rock stars this summer, in every sense of the word.

remember when i dated that republican for a little while? and then he decided to dump me when he found out i was a democrat? yeah... that was funny.

i made the decision to walk away from this blog for awhile, but it really only stuck for a week or so. you guys knew all too well. in the words of the great poet, mr. steve perry, don't stop believin'.

we had two legendary parties this year: glam rock '05 and happy xmas '05. at one, we all dressed up like freaks and were rewarded with a dog. at the other, we all dressed up and were rewarded with zach pizza and matt olsen taking off their clothes in front of the faculty.

i got really close with my extended family this year because of the unfortunate situation with my grandmother. i became infatuated with my respective family trees and family heritage, and i feel very appreciative of my family this year, more than any other.

i was thrown out of pizza luce for underage drinking this year. that's pretty cool.

there were some relatively crappy things that happened this year, but i really feel that the good outweighs the bad this year. 2005 will go down in the record books as a good one.


and the obligatory pop culture commentary for today is sienna miller. i wouldn't know her if she came up to my door and tried to sell me the wall street journal, but apparently she's important enough to put on the cover of vogue in january and play the hip and trendy edie sedgwick (aka "buddy of warhol" or, as i like to call her, "eyebrows for miles"). don't fuck it up, sienna. i'm trusting you only because i don't know any better.

also, i hear michael j. fox wants to do back to the future 4 as doc. that might be cool... but (feel free to correct me if i'm wrong) didn't marty become a rock star because he didn't hit the rolls royce? i'm officially worried. especially because he mentioned "new young hot cast," which always spells B-A-D. or M-Y C-A-R-E-E-R S-U-C-K-S.

many of you are leaving today, tomorrow, and friday for your family christmases. i wish you all a safe journey, and call me when you're back in duluth. i'll be back in january.

"we don't have chemistry. or banter. or common interests. you're a yoga instructor; you get colonics; you don't - you don't appreciate the chaos and absurdity of life on this planet, and in this city... you don't understand irony, or ethnicity, or eccentricty, or poetry, or the simple joy of being a regular at the diner on your block - i love that!

you don't drink coffee. or alcohol. you don't over-eat. you don't cry when you're alone. you don't understand sarcasm. you plod through life in a neat, colorless, caffeine-free, dairy-free, conflict-free, banal self-possessed way. i'm bold and angry and tortured and tremendous, and i notice when someone has changed their hair part, or when someone is wearing two very distinctively different shades of black, or when some changes the natural timbre of their voice on the phone.

i don't give out empty praise... i'm not complacent - or well-adjusted; i can't spend fifteen minutes breathing and stretching, and getting in touch with myself; i can't spend three minutes finishing an article! i check my phone machine nine times every day, and i can't sleep at night, because i feel that there is so much to do and fix and change in the world. and i wonder every day if i'm making a difference and if i will ever express the greatness within me, or if i will remain forever paralyzed by the muddled madness inside my head. i've wept on every birthday i've ever had, because life is huge and fleeting, and i hate certain people and certain shoes. and i feel that life is terribly unfair, and sometimes beautiful, and wonderful, and extraordinary, but also numbing and horrifying and insurmountable. and i hate myself a lot of the time, but a lot of the rest of the time, i adore myself, and i adore my life in this city, and this world that we live in -- this huge and wondrous, bewildering, brilliant, horrible world."

-- jennifer westfeldt, kissing jessica stein.

do we know how to celebrate christmas or what?

all in all, a wonderful time was had by all. everyone got the perfect present (thank you for the flask, carissa -- that couldn't have been planned better). this could be my favorite party of all time.



also, i wasn't aware until just now (literally) that ricky martin was still making songs. what the fuck is that "drop it on me" song? i'm serious, what is it? terrible. that's what it is. but he apparently still remembers how to gyrate. and dance like an idiot.

tonight, the lovely leanna graciously offered me a ride to my humble abode. we stopped at spur on the way home for some well-deserved cigarettes and comfort food. (it was a slightly stressful night.) while she gazed hungrily at the hash brown potato things deep frying behind the sneeze guard, i grabbed a peanut butter twix and headed for the soda. coke with lime, i thought to myself. coke with lime. of course they were out of my desired drink.... but hark! they had it in diet. i grabbed the bottle in a sort of miss america runner-up kind of way and paid for my prizes. as we crossed the bridge, i twisted off the cap, ready to down the sweet nectar that i'd been thinking about for ten whole minutes.

to my dismay, the wonderful taste i was expecting did not show up. instead, it sent its snotty little brother who kicks you in the shins. i was quite distraught... so much so that i came home and bitched about it to renee over instant messenger.

i went through a diet coke phase when i first came to college, mainly because i had been living with my cousin and he was hooked on it. it became a natural reaction to drink the stuff even though i didn't like it as much as i should have, considering i was buying it a lot. it took me about two weeks after i moved into my dorm to realize that i was drinking shitty pop and promptly turned from my ways.

to steal a line from renee, it's almost as if it's coke-flavored, not coke itself. add the artificial lime flavoring on top of it? god. it's awful. steer clear of diet coke (with lime).

unless, of course, you're into that sort of thing... in which case, anniemosity does not discriminate. you are still welcome here.


have you ever tried to find a song with your name in it and been sorely disappointed? i always have. if, indeed, my name was in a song, it was always "ann" or "annie" (neither of which is the correct version of my name). well, my boy john frusciante came through for me. i'd like to share this song with you, not only because it's got the correct spelling and pronunciation of my name, but because it's an excellent excellent song that i'm finding quite addictive these days. perhaps i'm a little narcissistic. i've never claimed otherwise.

i'm hosting this one myself. right-click, save as.

"anne" by john frusciante (curtains).

thanks, john.
also, thanks for not dying during the post-bloodsugarsexmagick era.

technology is a big snarling bitch sometimes.

first of all, carissa and i worked on her resume website thing from 11pm-2:30am tonight (with a few muhs-inspired smoke breaks). i ran into a lot of road blocks because a) her computer couldn't recognize my wireless internet, b) i'm not as familiar as i should be with dreamweaver, and c) i'm absentminded and kept fucking up the code. rest ye worried heads -- it finally got finished.

secondly, i received the following email today:

We would like to inform you that your website anniemosity.com is estimated to exceed your monthly traffic allowance quota based on your current usage projection.

In order to avoid website disruption, we recommend that you purchase a website traffic allowance upgrade.

In the case that your traffic allowance quota is exceeded, your website service will be temporarily stopped until the quota refresh at the end of this month.

i'm not going to lie.... i have no idea what this means. they may as well have written that in sanskrit. however, i DO get the fact that if i don't buy something, they're going to shut off anniemosity until the new year.

o wise fellow bloggers, if you are familiar with doteasy, anniemosity's tried and true hosting service for over two years, please explain this in english to me. am i running out of disk space? is anniemosity.com too popular for its own good? am i missing the point entirely? help help help me.

on a positive note, here are -
things to look forward to this weekend:
(chronologically)
-anniemosity & fat tony's day of fun
-MATT BROWN IS IN TOWN UNTIL MONDAY
-....working friday and saturday nights.... (i may not be looking forward to this)
-the possibility of Ghey gracing duluth with his presence
-opening presents sunday morning!
-the formal christmas party sunday night -- fancy dresses, presents, games, and people i haven't seen in a very very long time.

and now -- i must prepare for THE MUHS AND ANNE PLAN, day one.

samantha "confessions of an heiress" scott has told me that my blog is too happy, and that i need to blog about some things that i don't like. in return, she will blog about something that she likes. role reversal -- fun!

one of the things i really don't like is not having a car. normally it wouldn't be a huge deal, but i live in duluth and work in superior, so the walk wouldn't be a fun one. it's true i don't have to pay for gas or insurance or parking, or worry about my car starting, or finding a place to park when i come home from work at 3am... but the bad things definitely outweigh the good. i hate asking people for rides to work or target or the grocery store or shows or anything, really. i'd like to take the bus, but i had a horrendous experience with it freshman year and haven't bothered to figure it out yet. hey... anyone want to let me borrow their car friday and/or saturday night? see? that sucks. (but... i'm still kind of serious.)

want to hear another thing i don't like? my heating bill is through the roof.

oh yeah, i also don't like when people are mean to my friends.

hey, i've got another one. "fishin' in the dark" by the nitty gritty whatever-the-fuck band. the fires of hell flashed between the dj and myself tonight when that all-too-familiar riff echoed through the bar.

i also don't like that i can't go to the christmakwanza party on saturday night... or do anything fun during the weekend. ever. that's getting really old.


i don't like blogging like this. i'm still going through with it because i promised it, but blogging out of frustration and anger rarely turns out well for me.

so i'm going to end this with a few things i like.

i really like telling the story of what herb did. i don't know why.

i really like re-connecting with old friends. especially those i've known since we were four years old. (that picture is hella old.)

i really like george harrison, and i've come to the tough conclusion that he is my favorite beatle.

i really like kristen m pederson and when she calls me "anniemosity" and says the word "phalanges."

i really like the fugees. i wish they would bury the hatchet and get back together.

i really like hanging out with carissa because something wholly unbelievable happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. like when the waitress at perkins shook her tits at us like carmen miranda.

i really like cheese.

i really like my snarky-ass friends... like renee and tony (reinfeld... but i love you too, jacobson).


i feel better.



ps: the black-eyed snakes are playing tomorrow night at 9pm at some ski place. for free. any takers (.....with a car)?

(okay, that still sucks a lot.)

click on the above picture to watch a video (mpg, 6.34mb) capturing one of the many sides of eric, my darling little brother. he has requested that this be featured on anniemosity.com. here you go, boy -- you're an internet celebrity now.

i've never understood siblings that don't get along. eric & i have always gotten along. obviously that's a huge lie, but we've gotten along a lot better than most siblings i know. i could still be lying, but that's because i'm the big sister and i don't have any deep-rooted emotional problems or underlying hate stemming from my relationship with my brother.



aren't we adorable?
(isn't it weird to see me as a blond?)

things stayed pretty great when we gained the best step-brother ever, willie the pimp.




and then jordan came along. even though i am technically not related to jordan in any way, our bond runs deep. i'm sure he's spent more time at my house than his own (and i have a few friends who can actually attest to this. "does that kid ever go home??" no. he doesn't. and we like it this way.)




this is their proudest moment (aside from stealing the ten-foot tall display of angelina jolie from the local movie theater).

these kids are great. we have our glitches, but sometimes i feel like i'm perpetually living in an episode of "the cosby show" or (god help me) "full house." (i actually got teased about this when i came to college.)

eric, wil, and jordan -- i don't know how often you pop by good ol' anniemosity, but here's to you, ya little shits. stay in school... and don't do drugs... and be good... and stop dressing your friends up in my clothing.

(before i begin, i'd like to announce that i've converted the videos so that you apple folks can watch them as well. you can all thank carissa bombard for bringing this to my attention.)

miss pelowski and i have a crush on the same person.

i haven't had an opportunity to go outside yet, but it must be raining fire, and the clouds have surely fallen.

for the two-plus years i've known her, the only crush that we've ever had in common was ben mckenzie, and even that didn't last very long once i became preoccupied with adam brody. our "types" were completely opposite. i think she has actually laughed in my face a few times after i've confessed my feelings for someone, as i have surely laughed in hers.

has it truly come to this? have we both grown so that the eyes of our hearts have been focused on one man?

i knew this would be how our friendship would end --- an epic fight over something stupid, like the pronunciation of samantha's mother's name on "bewitched" or a man. and here it is.

get ready to fight, bitch. i'll be ready for you when your ass gets back on american soil................ i saw him first. and i pull hair.


on to more pleasant topics.

there are birthdays out there in the blogosphere.



firstly, mr. jason staab, my summer roommie and collaborator on the infamous DULUTH IN COLORS project (that lies unfinished on my hard drive) turns the big 21 today.

and that is the last of my friends in duluth who turn 21 before i do. i'll sit at home and stare at the walls while you guys all go to the bars. enjoy, bitches. my time will come soon enough.

also, a happy birthday goes out to one of my favorite bloggers, mr. barrett chase, who is not turning 21, but will probably have an equal amount of fun.

a lot of people have been having issues with how the weekly 5 works. the artist's name is linked to their official website. the song name is linked to the song. the album name is linked to where you can purchase the album on amazon.com. once you click the song name, it'll open a window which provides a download link to the song i have generously uploaded for you. that is all there is to it, children. now enjoy........

........the fly-est weekly 5 yet.
1. low - dragonfly (live)
2. curtis mayfield - superfly (superfly)
3. mason jennings - butterfly (s/t)
4. u2 - the fly (achtung baby)
5. stone temple pilots - lounge fly (purple)

....get it?

so................ i love low.

i need to be very clear here.

i love low. i love low.



this is mr. alan sparhawk performing on thursday in weber music hall.



.mpg, 8.81mb
(the autofocus went a little nuts trying to decide whether to focus on al & mimi or the back of dan sarles' head.)

this is the last forty seconds of the song "murderer," as performed in weber music hall.




this is renee seated next to the banjo that marc gartman would later play tonight at the sacred heart music center.




this is me, unable to say anything after the show tonight because i was so blown away.

(what, a girl's not allowed to take arty high-contrast emo pictures of herself? ....actually, i wanted to get the low poster in the background, and the light was straight over my head....... i'm lying, i'm just really emo.)

i did not take any other pictures at the sacred heart tonight.

but i may have teared up a little.

thank you al, mimi, matt, and assorted musicians for making this week great.


ps: i apologize to those i laughed at for ducking at the bat flying around at the end. i, too, ducked when the demon-with-wings swooped at my head.

it's that time of year. snow is on the ground, lights are in the trees (speaking of which, have you seen the spectacle of lights on 16th and 2nd or 3rd? it's intense), and everywhere you go, "happy christmas (war is over)" is on the radio.

i'm really excited for christmas this year. it isn't often that i get genuinely excited about the holidays, but this year, i am.

if you'd like to get me some sort of present, no matter who you are, it is not inappropriate to do so. i will accept anything from gifts being dropped off anonymously at my home to meeting me for coffee to give them to me. whatever works for you! that's what the christmas spirit is all about, right? thinking of others.

we recently got our christmas tree. my girls are so cute. (notice i didn't help.)









it usually takes me quite awhile to get into the christmas spirit (because i'm a half-grinch at heart), but this year, it hit me on december 4th, which is very early for me. i started buying christmas gifts, we made our house festive, and i brought out my favorite christmas movie (which, by the way, is not "a christmas story." i hate that movie, and i'm dead serious when i say this).

now, i'd like to claim "how the grinch stole christmas" or "a charlie brown christmas" or "frosty the snowman" or "muppet christmas carol" or even "home alone" as my favorite christmas movie. if i did, i'd be one lying sumbitch.

my favorite holiday movie is "scrooged."



bill murray's finest hour. from the scroogiest of the scrooges to his over-enthusiastic loving self, this movie is wonderful, beginning to end. murray plays francis xavier cross, a network executive and modern-day scrooge. he is greedy, narcissistic, heartless, and self-centered. (in his office, he has a poster that reads cross, n. [kros] 1. a thing you nail people to. he also wants to staple antlers to a mouse's head.) true to the dickens story, he is visited by three ghosts, and they subsequently remind him about the true meaning of christmas and what is really important in life. carol kane is hysterical as the ghost of christmas present, and it is in her big scene that one of my favorite movie quotes is yielded: "the bitch hit me with a toaster." when the disgruntled ex-employee eliot loudermilk (played brilliantly by bobcat goldthwait) decides to take the day's unfortunate events into his own hands, he appears with a shotgun at just the right time for a big raspberry on his stomach. the end is cheesy and sappy, but it's the perfect ending to this movie -- i very much enjoy bill murray coaxing the cast to sing along with him (and the "little shop of horrors" reference).

it is, hands down, the best adaptation of "a christmas carol," and quite possibly the best christmas movie ever made.


more important than christmas, however, is LOW.

i saw low today at weber music hall and i didn't cry.

but i'll probably cry when i see them on saturday at sacred heart. it's all good. i'm a weepy bastard these days anyway.

i don't know how to delicately put this, so i'm just going to throw it out there.

if you don't know me,
do not grab my ass.

do you really think that it's appropriate to not tip me and then to grab my ass? i mean, sure, i know you're drunk, and yes, it's a picture-perfect award-winning ass, but no amount of alcohol should tell you that this is a good idea.

resist your temptations, gentlemen. i understand, it's difficult. i know i bring you a lot of shots and many a beer, but reaching out and squeezing my booty does not equate to a simple "thank you," or even a buck or two and a wink.

what exactly are you expecting me to do after said ass grab? bring you free drinks? give you my number? tell you what time i get off work and foolishly stand in the cold, awaiting our late-night rendez-vous? believe me, sir, none of these things will happen. frogs falling from the sky is more likely to happen.

the next time you have the urge to pinch perfection, stop and ask yourself -- "is this really a good idea?" the answer is a solid "no."

maybe while you're at it, you could leave me an extra buck. or two.


i'm seeing low tomorrow. not friday. thursday. i'm coming soon, sparhawk. remember me? i'm the one who stutters and cries.

dear tom waits,

so.................. i'm pretty much in love with you right now.



i have a little bit of an obsessive personality. i may be understating that a little. it's not important. the point is that right now, you are the object of my fixation.

i watched a terrible movie last week, tom. it was so terrible that i can't even bring myself to name it. however, during the opening credits was a song of yours ("please call me, baby") that i remember liking quite a bit when this movie was popular. i re-wound (yes, i still use a vcr) the movie a few times just to hear this song, and i suddenly remembered that i had three of your albums sitting on my computer. a fiending friend of mine had burned them for me, and i had listened to them each once. i scrambled to my computer, abandoning the movie, and threw the albums onto my ipod. the first song that came up was "pasties and a g-string," which i immediately put into my weekly 5 on wednesday. Ghey fed my obsession by sending me another one of your albums, and i knew that i wouldn't listen to much else for awhile.

you're one of those artists that would severely intimidate me, were i ever to meet you in real life. i'd love to sit and have a cigarette and a drink with you, but in reality, i think i wouldn't be of any interest to you unless i showed you my tits or kept you consistently intoxicated. in all honesty, i would probably do both of these things. just don't tell anyone that.

yours is the kind of music that makes me wonder about you and who you are and why you write songs like this. i imagine you shutting yourself in a room, smoking cigarettes, drinking hard alcohol and sitting around, lonely and dejected. it makes me want to do the same: sit in my cigarette smoke, isolated, drunk, and depressed. i don't know if i can do that though, tom, because when i get drunk, i get giggly. giggly doesn't exactly fit with your mood. i can't see myself listening to "starving in the belly of the whale" and giggling through it. (even my blue/snowflake layout is too happy and cheery for this. i'm thinking of changing it again, tom, just for you.)

i like that you clear your throat when you narrate your morbidly amusing stories ("frank's wild years"). i like that even your instrumental creep-fests sound like you ("knife chase"). i like that you sample "as time goes by" ("bad liver and a broken heart") and "waltzing matilda" ("tom traubert's blues") and make them break my heart. i love how you can go from a blues song ("christmas card from a hooker in minneapolis") to a jazz song dripping with a beatnik narrative ("the one that got away") to a wholly depressing ballad ("the piano has been drinking [not me]") to something unbelievably creepy ("god's away on business"). chameleons, tom, keep things interesting. you have your own unique style that can be identified within the first five seconds of the song, but everything is so different.

so yes, i am obsessed and in love with you right now. next week, perhaps not so much, because i am a fickle young girl with a wandering eye and a lust for something new... but i won't ever lose my love for you.

love,
anniemosity.com

ps: i loved you in "mystery men," one of my favorite movies of all time. and i'll blog about that sometime, too.

(if you are interested in obtaining more tom waits albums, you can purchase blood money, rain dogs, small change (my personal favorite), swordfishtrombones, or blue valentine. yes, he has more, but these are the only ones i am familiar with in any way. talk to me to find out which one is right for you.)

i am growing weary of pop culture. brad is legally adopting angelina's children? don't care. i'm losing interest in lindsay lohan's hair color du jour. who the hell is pete doherty, aside from kate moss' coke dealer? i'm sick of paris hilton's rotating exotic pets. the mystery of jake gyllanhaal's sexual orientation is boring me (although i'm still convinced that he is "toothy tile"). and for the love of god, i'm going to kill myself if i see another "laguna beach" brat in the news.

there's nothing scandalous and spectacular to really get me interested anymore. what happened to the good ol' days of interesting celebrity feuds and bizarre celebrity hookups (although i will admit, jon voight and diana ross? really??)?

i guess what i really mean here is that i miss dennis rodman.




he was (arguably) the best rebounding forward in the history of the nba, married a supermodel, dressed like a woman, and said weird shit. there was never a dull moment with this guy. i loved the wild speculation that happened every time there was a headline about him. "what the hell happened now? did he pierce his ear to his cheek? i'll bet he'd do something like that. did he suckerpunch a pregnant woman? i could see that happening."

he always said some really funny shit though, too. like this: "as long as i play ball, i can get any woman i want. but there's no scoreboard in my bedroom. wilt chamberlain lied when he said he had 20,000 women. wilt should open his own sperm bank." wtf, dennis?

or this: "i can go out to a salon and have my nails painted pink, and then go out and play in the nba, on national television, with pink nails." i fully endorse this.

my favorite, though, is this: "chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is ten, or something." [on chicago bulls team chemistry being overrated]

smart, he ain't. fascinating? hell yes! probably a million times more interesting than anyone in the news right now. take that, nick lachey!

of course i'll still read it all and know more about the celebrities than you do. but i won't be happy about it unless someone takes a page from dennis rodman's book and decides to do something really interesting.


it's been brought to my attention that i apparently owe a few more songs for the weekly 5 because i skipped a bunch of time over thanksgiving.

weekly 5
theme: songs i listened to in the last ten minutes.

1. the blue van - mob rule (the art of rolling)
-i owe this gem to my little brother. hats off, kiddo. the tables have turned.

2. tom waits - pasties and a g-string (small change)
-tom waits is hot. the scatting is so sweet. this song almost makes me wish i was a stripper instead of a cocktail waitress. if i was a stripper, this would be my song. the chinese algebra analogy is quite high-brow. i hope you can grab that one.

3. tin hat trio - fire of ada (memory is an elephant)
-i really wanted to share the other one ("happy hour") with you, but the ID3 tags are messed up and yousendit won't have it. this one is still good. real good.

4. bob seger - c'est la vie (greatest hits)
-this song makes me smile. that's really it.

5. metallica - no leaf clover (s&m)
-this is my favorite metallica song. it's such an epic that i almost feel regret for not liking the metal genre. almost.


feedback on the new layout is appreciated. i think it's super cheesy.

i came to a realization when i got home from work the other night. now, this might come as a horrifying shock to some of you, but i can be a little on the bitchy side sometimes. i know, right? can you believe it? surely i jest. stick with me.

i bought someone a drink that night. he was a melancholy man with an awful hairpiece who sat up in the front of the room at a table all by himself. he had bought the entire bar a drink in hopes that someone would join him. nobody did. (granted, there were a total of three other people there.) drunk and lonely, he smoked his menthols and stared hopelessly into his drink. it was like a billy joel song.

so when i brought him his sixth whiskey/coke, he reached for his bills, and, on impulse, i said, "this one's on me." he broke into a grin and told me that i made his night. he said some other quite sleazy things to me, but that's beside the point.

the point is that i did something nice for someone i don't even know, and it made me realize that i had been rather snippy and bitchy for the last week to pretty much everyone, for no real reason. cheer up, anniemosity! life's good, and you're turning over a new nicer and more generous leaf. chill.

so my preemptive new year's resolution is to be a little less of a bitch. i'll still be one snarky, sassy gal, but with a little less hostility and malevolence.

in other news, i learned the hard way not to leave things in my cupboard when i'm away from home for extended periods of time. i opened up my cupboard yesterday to find this:




my onion sprouted some kind of ceremonial headdress. it was quite a shocker. i didn't know that onions could do that, but i will never underestimate them again.

also, now that it is officially the second of december, it is the big day that two of my amazing and beautiful friends are twenty-one years of age. (oddly enough, they both lived with me at one point. coincidence, or fate?)



first of all, kristen pederson (of "the untitled kristen pederson experience" fame). she's as "lovely as leap year" and thinks i'm funny when i curse. i love you baby -- and so does flava flaaaaaaaaav!



secondly, dave "drunky mctrash" hauer is also 21. i will never forget your underage antics, dave -- nakedly jumping over bonfires (and the consequent burning of your favorite boxers), naked upside-down grain belt chugging, and, of course, your eight different laughs. i love you man.

also, once i find my photoshop installation disc (that i've been searching frantically for all afternoon) i will be able to complete my new layout. i thank everyone for their suggestions. (see, that was me being nice! it's kicking in already.)