you know you've had a good weekend when you're still cleaning on monday night. and when you sit on your couch and find an earring, a roll of toilet paper, a toolbox, and some kind of computer cord that nobody who actually lives here can recognize. in any case, this weekend was glam rock weekend. the pictures will be posted soon. real soon.

it seems as though nobody else i know is into tennis. at all. therefore, i'm swiping a bit from patrick hruby's recent article on espn.com's page two, entitled "why you should watch the open." tennis gets a bad rap for being mundane and boring and without the "behind the scenes drama" of other sports. well. you tell me which one did NOT actually happen in the last five years, and then we'll discuss.

a) damir dokic, father of player jelena dokic, was thrown out of the u.s. open after pitching a fit over the price of salmon in the player's lounge.

b) donald trump offered john mcenroe one million dollars to play against one of the williams sisters.

c) seven male players tested positive for steroids; the atp cleared them after determining its own trainers may have been giving athletes tainted supplements.

d) slapped with a paternity suit, boris becker argued his sperm was stolen as part of a russian mafia extortion plot (a claim he later retracted).

e) ivan ljubicic opened his locker to find a naked michael llorda inside. said llorda: "i'm trying to get positive energy from you. you're winning a lot of matches this year."

the answer is: THEY'RE ALL TRUE. that's right. tennis, boring? surely you're joking.

on to other things. a brief and late (again) sunday 5. this week's theme: artists from good ol' duluth, part one.
(i should probably state for copyright reasons that this music is for sampling purposes only. the title of the song will still take you to the download, but if you want to find out more, click on the other links. support local artists, y'dig?)

1. low - when i go deaf. (the great destroyer)
-everyone knows that low is my fucking favorite band from duluth. this song is another one of those songs that i can't put into words. i just love it so much. so will you. keep with it to the end.

2. the black eyed snakes - no grave gonna hold my body down/chicken-bone george/cornbread/bo diddley. (live; also featured on rise up!)
-everyone knows that the black eyed snakes are my other fucking favorite band from duluth. i love me some sparhawk. although this song is over fifteen minutes long (because i can't figure out my audio editing software), it is so unbelievably worth it. this makes me want to rock out so hard that i break things in my living room.

3. the little black books - wish away. (only one name in my little black book)
-wow, their website looks really really great. incidentally, i can't find a link to buy their album online, but i know you can get it at the electric fetus for sure. this is my favorite track, but it's nothing compared to their live show.

4. mary bue - love. (east to the sea)
-i had the pleasure of seeing mary bue on friday with her new trio (herself, matt mobley, and john dirke). it was really really excellent. i would highly recommend her music to anyone.

5. the lucky southerners - neutral. (live at beaners, 4/20/04)
-i gotta give it up for nostalgia. it's quality, i promise you that. (also features matt mobley. hm.)

i like this local theme. watch for another five next week.

and finally, today was the day that joel left duluth for good. yes, ladies and gentlemen, our favorite gay is gone. who's going to be there to make sure we lock our doors? who's going to scold us for not changing the batteries in our smoke detectors? who is going to bring the worse case scenerios to light? who's going to say, when you finally reveal your crush, "what if he likes anne??"



farewell, joel. duluth misses you already.

guys, i can't blog under pressure. really.

so here's your damn sunday 5. i'll blog when i'm struck with inspiration.

it'll absolutely happen after this weekend, aka EPIC WEEKEND '05.

this week's theme: songs with numbers in them.
why don't you fuckers come up with the themes? i'm out of ideas.

the thursday 5+.
1. the flaming lips - one more robot/sympathy 3000-21
-my personal favorite flaming lips song, aside from "thank you jack white (for the fiber optic jesus that you gave me)" (which i've just uploaded for you, if you promise to listen to it). it's quite epic. you'll like it.

2. heiruspecs - two fold.
-heiruspecs are simultaneously beautiful and brilliant. enough said.

3. the dave brubeck quartet - three to get ready.
-everyone needs a little brubeck.

4. mason jennings - fourteen pictures.
-this mp3 may be damaged (a lot of my mason tunes are). but give it a try, because i like this tune.

5. david bowie - five years.
-"the rise & fall of ziggy stardust & the spiders from mars" is one of my favorite concept albums ever. this is a good way to start out the album.

6. b.b. king - six silver strings.
-the second best blues guitar player ever. (first being eric clapton, duh.) quality song.

7. nostalgia 77 - seven nation army.
-THIS IS AN AMAZING COVER. I PROMISE.

8. sunny day real estate - 8.
-sunny day real estate reminds me of eleventh grade. not that you asked, i'm just saying.

9. dj danger mouse - 99 problems.
-i've probably uploaded this one before, but i'm going to be honest that i don't have a lot of songs with the number nine in it. and this is too good to pass up.

10. barenaked ladies - if i had $1000000.
-you love this song. you love this song and you know it. and it's technically not "the number ten" but i ran out of those songs too.

now leave me lots of comments about how much you like/dislike these songs.

bitches.

ps:
watch "sports night." aaron sorkin is brilliant.

remember back when i talked about practical jokes and how i'm not particularly fond of them? well, i feel as though one has been pulled on me tonight. whether or not it was done for the reason of being a full-blown "practical joke," it sucked just the same.

alexis & eric are visiting this weekend. eric & i are sitting on my porch and he says, "do you have any cinnamon?" i should have known from the start that this was a dangerous question because of who was asking it. but i was also quite curious, so i inquired as to why he was wondering. "i'll give you five dollars if you swallow a whole tablespoon of cinnamon," he said.

i laughed out loud, thinking of glen. glen & eric would have these ridiculous bets -- eric would say, "i'll give you $__ if you eat a whole _____ of _____." and glen would either do it, balls to the wall, or shake his head and humbly back away from the challenge, pride intact. i thought perhaps eric was missing glen and wanted a temporary substitute.

and then i thought about it. cinnamon? it can't be that hard, right? i mean, it's just cinnamon. plus, it's $5, and i'm a broke college kid who is attempting to keep her smoking habit, despite the outrageous hike in cigarette prices. so i accepted the challenge.

we headed into the kitchen and retrieved the cinnamon. as eric was appropriately setting up the challenge, he mentioned that glen had attempted to do this and was unable to perform. i suddenly had second thoughts, especially because alexis looked so skeptical. but then i thought about the money again and decided i'd give it a go. i'm hardcore, right?

i brought the spoon to my lips, breathed in the beautiful smell of the heap of cinnamon before me, and formulated what i felt to be the best plan of attack -- dump it all down my throat. at the last second, i thought again about glen not being able to do it. and he eats a lot of crap for money. it'll be fine, i thought, and poured it into my mouth.

immediately i felt my throat constrict. the coarse powder was sucking all of the moisture from my mouth, throat, lungs, and everything connected to them. i couldn't breathe. i couldn't speak. i couldn't even whimper. but what did i decide to do? i decided to press on with the challenge and attempted to force the rest of the evil powder down my quivering throat. i began to cry. my lungs felt like they were wrapped in rubber bands.

i broke down and coughed. hard. powder flew from my mouth and formed a cloud over the dishes in my sink. a hole formed in the thick mass the powder had formed in the back of my throat and i was able to weakly take in a breath, which, of course, caused more coughing.

i looked vengefully towards eric, who stood there with his hand over his mouth, trying his damndest not to laugh at my misery. alexis shook her head at me. i fumbled for a glass. i needed water. this was a poor choice, i thought to myself.

i recovered nearly an hour later, after seven glasses of water poured down my ravaged throat.

and i have learned my lesson -- never take a fucking bet with eric simonson again.

i'm so lame. i couldn't even stick to my "no blogging" rule for a week.
there's something i need to talk about, however, and it needs to be public.



if you know anything about me, you know how much i love the white stripes. you know how bizarrely attracted i once was to jack white (before he grew that nasty-ass moustache). you know what a musical genius i believe him to be. and, if you're real lucky, you'd know i dressed up as meg white for halloween '03.

i can't lie, though. i don't like their new album. i don't know why i just don't like it, but i don't. perhaps it screams wasted potential! at me because i know how good they can be, and how "get behind me satan" just doesn't cut it. if it were just an album by itself, it'd all be cool. but to think of it in context with "de stijl" and "white blood cells" and "elephant," it's just sub par. (i didn't count their self-titled album because while it's good for what it is, i can't listen to it for very long before i feel like i've been ramming my head into my screen door. except for track three.)

despite all of this, however, they are still one of my favorite bands. u2 - red hot chili peppers - white stripes. the big three. (that pun was not planned, stripes fans, but props if you get it.) that's why when a miss kim garvey was all "dude let's see the white stripes in august," i was all "fuck yeah man." i saw them once, summer of '03, and i loved it. top three best shows i've ever seen. and jack white was still attractive. and those red & black spandex pants...


um, anyway, yeah, i was all for going to the stripes concert in the cities. especially because i totally gave kim the shaft last time around for some stupid family member or another. (no offense intended, those of my family that i'm sure have found this by now.) and then i shafted her again when the kings of leon came around. her last few comments in this blog have been, "dude, you'd better be at the show." duh, i thought, wouldn't miss it for the world.

assuming the stripes concert is NEXT weekend, this brings me to a soul crushing dilemma.

samantha scott and her hot british boy are coming up NEXT weekend. i need to see sam. and i need to meet this hot british boy. and if i don't see sam, i will not see her again for far too long. plus, i won't get the well-deserved break that i need from the migraines i've been getting.

but there's another factor in this. matt-slash-donny is (most likely) coming up NEXT weekend. matt-slash-donny is then going to leave the country and study in england for a year. after NEXT weekend, assuming he comes up, i won't see matt-slash-donny again until he returns from the land of tea and david beckham. in a year. however, this is not confirmed at the moment, because matt-slash-donny's attention span online hasn't been the most consistant these days. (sorry man, but don't deny it.)

now, seeing as i've bailed on kim twice, i really don't want to do that to her again. plus, seeing the white stripes not once, but twice is something i've dreamed about for a long long long time. however, not saying goodbye to matt-slash-donny is absolutely unacceptable. and i need my sam time.

and i'm dead serious about this migrane issue. i haven't had migranes like this since i managed that one band that one time.

tell me, dear readers (if you haven't yet given up on anniemosity.com) - give me your advice. (i will be disregarding advice from kim, sam, and donny [not that he reads this anyway] for sheer fairness reasons.)

(but you guys can still comment because i like your comments.)

this is my less-than-triumphant return to the blogosphere, but believe me, there will be no more sucking. no sir, this blog is going to be full of the great posts that it once was, back when i didn't have any readers, inhibitions, or alcohol problems.

this is a sad thing for me to say, but i've lost the motivation to write.

so this is the formal announcement of my hiatus for awhile. because, let's face it, this blog is really sucking. sucking like a vaccuum, as dave would say.

i'll update with videos, pictures, etc. but there will be no blogging until my muse returns.

seeing as this is the unfortunate case, i'm going to do a pre-emptive sunday 5+ to tide you over for awhile while i "find my motivation," for lack of a less cliché and less dramatic phrase.

the first five songs will be my favorite hair band songs (that i have on my computer).

spinal tap - big bottom
guns n' roses - my michelle
bon jovi - you give love a bad name
van halen - jump
poison - every rose has its thorn

and these three are songs you really fucken need.
two covers, one original.

willie nelson - smells like teen spirit
-this song is only like a minute long. i'd cut off my left arm AND give my firstborn child to hear him go on for a minute longer. i really really like this.

seu jorge - rebel rebel
-if you've seen the life aquatic with steve zissou, you've heard this guy. he does david bowie songs in portuguese. it's gorgeous. you'll love it.

roísín murphy - sinking feeling
-this song is so hot. so. hot.

so, with that, i bid you adieu, dear blogosphere. i shall return. you know where to find me.

remember -- it's not who you are underneath; it's what you do that defines you.

i have returned unscathed, but unfortunately i will be unable to get back to duluth until monday night. that sucks.

the family reunion was all right. i haven't really seen this side of the family for about five years, so it was weird to see that little four year old harrison was really nine year old harrison, and that his mother barb had lost ONE HUNDRED POUNDS thanks to liposuction. seriously, i'm not even making that up.

i had a lot of people come up to me and say "annie? is that annie?? my my my, how old are you now?" there are really only two people i let call me "annie" (unless it's followed by the word "mosity," which is actually catching on), so this was not a welcome surprise. i had to basically re-introduce myself to that entire side of the family. and then the whole "college, when did you grow up?" or "wow, i remember when you were this big!" or "duluth, isn't it cold up there?" and then the blank stares.

also, my uncle don has a lot of hair on his shoulders.

(i shouldn't call him my uncle, because he really isn't my uncle. he's my mother's cousin, making him my... great cousin? second cousin? cousin once removed? see, this why i just call him my uncle. it makes it a lot easier. who cares if it's technically not true?)

anyway, "uncle" don has hair on his shoulders. does that strike anyone else as weird? seriously, they're gigantic tufts of bright red hair growing out of the tops of his shoulders. i really hope that's not hereditary.

i suppose i owe one hell of a sunday 5, so we'll make it the sunday 5+.
theme: songs that i should have been listening to, '92 - '94. what i was actually listening to is really none of your business.

the sunday 5+.
1. eric claption - nobody knows you when you're down & out (1992)
2. barenaked ladies - brian wilson (1992)
3. r.e.m. - nightswimming (1992)
4. prince - nothing compares 2 u (1993)
5. nirvana - heart-shaped box (1993)
6. billy joel - a minor variation (1993)
7. weezer - holiday (1994)
8. stone temple pilots - interstate love song (1994)
9. the flaming lips - bad days (1994)

see? there. don't tell me i'm not good to you.

yeah. i'm boring. i'm sorry.

ps: last chance to see "rocky horror" is this weekend. you wouldn't want to miss that, right?

(guys. i'm working on getting a job. lay off.)

tomorrow i'm going to a family reunion. ours is exactly the cliché family reunion: sitting around in the ridiculous humidity on rickety plastic lawn chairs from the late 80s, staring at each other over the kiddie pool while waiting for someone to bring us a goddamn hot dog.

i like my family, don't get me wrong. i'm just not a fan of forced gatherings where it's a "so tell me all about you (but not so much that i actually have to listen)" kind of situation for four days.

so kiddies, i bid you adieu. i'll come back sunday with a perfect farmers' tan and a desire to binge drink. be prepared, duluthians. i miss you already.

ps: someone yelled "FREEBIRD!" at us monday night while we were playing guitar on sarah's balcony. that was the greatest thing ever.

punctuality is really important to me.

however, hard as i try, i can't be on time for anything. anything. dave and i had an afternoon of general merriment planned for today. i was going to wake up at 11:00, run, shower, wake his sleepy ass up, and off we go!

well it's 12:13. i just woke up. i don't want to run. i have a prior commitment at 3:00. and all i want to do is lie on my pink couch, watch TCM, and eat ice cream to soothe the raging fire that's been mercilessly ravaging my throat for the last four days, while creating a mountain of used kleenexes* due to this ridiculous cold that i seem to have caught from one of you fuckers.

but i know that half the battle is showing up. so here's my step by step plan for the next hour. because i know it's important to you.

step one: get up and run. (that even rhymes!)

"suck it up, clifford!" i say to myself. "you skipped out on running yesterday (and rightfully so, might i add), but today... ohhhh today... don't puss out. think of that burn in your legs. think of your bright green running shorts. think of your itchy sweaty arms and back. you love it all."

i really do love it all.

step two: wake dave's sorry ass up and explain to him why, oh why, i'm running so far behind. and then apologize again for beating him up last night. (i beat him up last night. it was very much deserved. well, the first assault was. the second one was a violent reaction to what i thought was an attack. i'm just putting it out there -- if i ever get attacked i've got nothing to worry about. dave and his crushed scrotum can attest to that.)

step three: shower. that always gets the ball rolling. and then it's all downhill from there. to the bank! to the other bank! to the post office! and then -- the point of culmination: teach me how to drive a stick shift. oh, the apex of my day! sweet bliss of accomplishment, cometh!

god i need a job. my life is so boring.


*stupidest looking word ever.

ps: "part deux" is also being started today, if i can fit it in to my busy schedule of banking and mailing, because muhs won't leave me alone.