Gross.

I read Twilight. In less than twenty four hours.

DON'T JUDGE ME. DON'T JUDGE ME! DON'T JUDGE ME!!

OKAY --
Here's the thing.

So I was shopping with Pelowski, right? We're in a book store, lusting after books. Language books, photography books, sci-fi books (BOTH OF US, not just me), classics, everything. Book lust is intense. You know.

So I've got the Japanese books I went in for tucked safely under my arm, wandering aimlessly, simultaneously fighting and feeding the book lust.

And then we're sauntering through the young adult section. Beautiful, emotionally tortured teens stare at us from all the covers with their Posh Spice eyes.

And I see it - Robert Pattinson glaring at me from a paperback in the corner with his eyes Photoshopped into amber perfection. I reach for the book, as if in a trance.

"Twilight," I scoff mechanically, turning over the paperback. "What's the deal with this anyway?"

Pelowski stares at me, wide-eyed and serious. "Buy it. Read it. Do it." They are not suggestions.

I shrug and add the book to the collection under my arm. Shortly after, I realize I can't escape overhearing people talking about the book. I don't know if the act of purchasing the book heightened my awareness for the series, or if it's really just that popular and I didn't realize it, but let me tell you, it's everywhere.

The next day, Jack and I spend the entire day in the living room reading, drinking tea, and listening to music. In this short span of time, I devour the book.

And it's absurd. The writing, the story, everything about the book is absolutely absurd. I burst out laughing and read passages out loud to Jack, laughing my way through the teen angst and adolescent desire. OHHH EVERYTHING IS JUST SOOOOO INTENSE, ISN'T IT? SO IMPORTANT. OH, WHO WILL YOU GO WITH TO THE DANCE, BELLA SWAN? WHO, INDEED? Christ.

So I take a break and we play chess. (We've become snotty yuppie faux-intellectuals, I guess... faux-intellectuals who read Twilight. I get the irony.) And I lose badly because the entire time I'm thinking about the book and Edward Cullen and vampires and the rainy town of Forks and what happens when he goes into the sunlight and does he really love her or does he just want her blood? and how can their relationship be that intense when they're only seventeen? and how much I actually dislike Bella's character and on and on. (Well, I also lose badly because Jack is far superior to myself when it comes to games of strategy.)

The point is, I couldn't stop thinking about the book and ended up finishing it by the next morning. And I watched the trailer for the movie twice. Okay, four times.

I sit here, incredulous that I am chronicling my engrossment in a TWEEN NOVEL. I am not above tween music -- I've been known to admit my tween-like musical guilty pleasures. I always thought I was above tween literature, but this swiftly proves that I am anything but above it. Gross.

PS: I'm starting the next book when I return to Minneapolis.