We all need to be taken away from our situations sometimes.

I used to smoke cigarettes to take myself out of a situation. It gave me an excuse to physically step away and to clear my head. The act of methodically inhaling and exhaling forced me to slow myself down and just... be.

Driving would do it for me too. It was the physical space that I could put between myself and the situation that would make me feel better. Knowing that the stress was literally miles away was a temporary relief. I felt completely in control, which is a great feeling.

Now I shut myself in my room and listen to music. Big shock, right? I've been doing this a lot lately. Between hysterical crying fits and being the one in control, panic attacks and waves of crystal clear vision, being okay with the situation and frantically begging someone to take me away for just a few minutes, it's been difficult to find the exact way to be able to whisk myself outside of things.

Sometimes I sit in the dark, just me and Explosions in the Sky. Sometimes I lie there and close my eyes, and Elvis Costello is the only one who really gets it. Sometimes Lou Rawls knows exactly how to transport me away from my tiny white bedroom in Onalaska. Sometimes it's the Velvet Underground who beckons me away from the deterioration. Sometimes John Frusciante makes me feel all these emotions I didn't even know existed while I am in my solitude. And Miles Davis... well, I may as well be in a completely different country when I listen to him. And sometimes... just sometimes... I listen to a song that used to encompass all that was romantic and heartbreaking and emotional in high school and even now I feel the familiar intensity wash over me.

Each of these songs takes me a million miles away from where I am. Concentrating on the poetry and the rhythms and the orchestration and the power, whether subtle or striking, takes me away from always having to be strong. It removes me from the exhausting task of feeling like I have to be everywhere at once. It reminds me that as much as I'd like to think I am invincible... I'm just not... and it's okay. It's just me and the music.

Some of us can't go chill out on the ice, like Clay suggested. Some of us are unable to even leave the house unaccompanied, save for short walks to the Mom & Pop Grocery Store three blocks away. Despite this, there are ways to get away.

So here, dearest kids, closest confidants, beautiful friends, here are my solitude songs, in hopes that perhaps it will help you if you need an in-home getaway. (Links removed for the sake of my traffic quota. Hit me up.)

Explosions in the Sky - Catastrophe and the Cure
Elvis Costello - Alison
Lou Rawls - I Got It Bad (And That Ain't Good)
The Velvet Underground - Heroin
John Frusciante - Carvel
Miles Davis - Nuit Sur Les Champs-Elysees (Take 2)
The Juliana Theory - August In Bethany