Since we last met, I've been gallivanting across state lines. I've compiled a list of things that I have learned in each respective place (chronologically, of course).

Los Angeles, California.
Uff-da. So much to see and do here. Ate at the best vegan restaurant ever. Saw a REAL LIVE HOOKER, pink fishnets and all. Loves it. Four stars.

Venice Beach, California.
This was almost the highlight of California for lil' ol' Anniemosity. It's a gigantic open market that stretches along the ocean (including the highly-hyped but highly disappointing Muscle Beach). If you've ever seen the documentary "Dogtown and Z-Boys" (or the less exciting and much lamer "Lords of Dogtown"), Venice Beach is where it all began. There was a lot of the same graffitti that I'd seen in the documentary. Quite exciting. Step-Brother swears he saw John Frusciante surfing, although I really don't believe him. Also, I had the strongest margarita I've ever had. Would you like some mix with your tequila? No, sir, I'm good. I'm goooood. Five stars.



Hollywood, California.
ANNIEMOSITY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD. Jesus Christ, it was exciting. Rodeo Drive, Grauman's Chinese Theater, the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Hollywood & Vine, and another hooker!!!! I almost died in Hollywood. I loved every fucking second of it. And I saw Joaquin Phoenix walking down Robertson Boulevard. Fuck yeah. Five fucking stars.



San Diego, California.
Well, it was the San Diego Zoo, to be exact. I didn't get to see much of San Diego, save through the dirty windows of the hot and smelly bus transporting us from the port to the zoo. But the zoo!! We spent from 9am to 4pm running around the zoo, trying to see everything, and we only made it through half the park. I'd highly reccommend going there -- excellent. Four stars. (The hippos were bitchin'.)



Catalina.
When I get rich and famous, I'm retiring to Catalina. Gorgeous, although quite touristy. I went fucking parasailing. Five stars. Five motherfucking stars.



Encinada, Mexico.
Ridiculous. Everything was for sale, and everything was negotiable. And it was hot. But it was my first excursion beyond the US Border, so it was pretty exciting. Don't drink the water, and stock up on booze if you can. Four stars.



Atlanta, Georgia.
To be fair, I ate one meal here at a restaurant called Tw!st, but it was a good meal. Spinach and lemon tortollini. And I had blueberry upside-down cake. Delicious. The staff was bitter. Four stars.

Eufala, Alabama.
(Pronounced "You Fah-lla." I think.) Only drove through the town (and ate at the Golden Corrall, which had a surprisingly decent breakfast buffett with AMAZING TOAST), but I was surprised. Lovely town, GIGANTIC mansions, abominable traffic. Three stars.

Destin, Florida.
In all honesty, my experience in Destin, Florida didn't really extend beyond getting drunk with my cousins. (Aside: I learned what a Jag-Missile is, and I wish I hadn't.) Don't get me wrong, I loved spending time with my family and I loved being on the beach, but jesus, the place was packed full of redneck tourists and fire-breathing ants. Three stars for the town, five stars for the company.


There you have it, folks: Anniemosity's tour of the country. My internet will be set up this week, so I am officially returning to the Internet with a bang.


PS: I need celebrity gossip updates. Are Jen & Vince really getting married?