My favorite movie scene ever is the end credits of "All Of Me" where Roger and Edwina (in Terry's body) are dancing. The camera pans to the mirror on the wall, and it shows Roger and Edwina (in her own body) dancing together, going crazy. For some reason, that scene makes me really happy.

I don't know if it's because Roger and Edwina finally fell in love and are truly at peace, or if it's because Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin have incredible chemistry, or if it's because that bitch Terry missed the boat on such a lovely moment... but I watched that movie again last night by myself and realized I had an ear-to-fucking-ear grin on my face.

I'm glad that he ended up with Edwina instead of that spoiled bitch Peggy, or even that scheming bitch Terry. He was visibly unhappy with the thought of marriage ("the 'M' word") with Peggy, and look at the skeletons Terry had in her closet. Edwina may also have been spoiled and a bitch, but she learned her lesson and came to truly appreciate life. A win-win situation.

I'm also glad Roger ended up as a jazz musician over being a lawyer. I mean, it was pretty obvious that he eventually would, but it's obvious that jazz was his passion and what he needed to find true happiness.

True happiness. The concept intrigues me. I had it at one point, but I took it for granted and looking back on it, I want to be back there. I don't wish I was in twelfth grade again and I don't wish I still lived with my parents and I'm really glad that I'm in Duluth, but that year, I was truly happy. I was constantly surrounded by the most incredible people, from my immediate family to my new friends to a few (selective few, that is) of my old friends.

I remember being thrilled to leave, but I had anxiety pangs here and there. I knew that once I left, nobody was going to make me biscuits and eggs for breakfast anymore. Nobody would understand why pretending to stab a pen in his or her neck was hilarious. Nobody would get how awesome my brothers are. Nobody would understand how great my dad's "funk" dance is. I could drink and party and sleep around and not go to class and have the time of my life in college, but nothing that I was experiencing mere months prior to that would carry over, and that scared me, because I was really really happy.

So what does this mean? Was I really happy, or just really comfortable? Did I really need other people to make me happy?

I don't know if I'm happy right now. I'm not unhappy. I don't want to move (yet), I like (most) of the people in my life, and I'm pretty satisfied with myself. Despite the fact that I may eventually wear myself a little thin between jobs, life is pretty good. Pretty good.

I forgot what I was talking about.

Rent "All Of Me" please. Not only does it include the aforementioned scene, it also showcases Steve Martin's physical comedy at its most brilliant.

Billie Holiday - All Of Me.
(Not my favorite version, but it's still nice.)

PS: Unrelated, but requested --
my birthday wish list.
There's only one (well, two) thing(s) on it right now, but I'll let you know when there are additions.
item one
item one and a half
(If you buy them together, you save $7.)