now that i've recovered (a little) from the terrible news from yesterday, it's dirty laundry day. here's my big secret.

okay, it's not even a big secret. it's just something that not many people can admit. but i can. and i will.

i love ben affleck.



i don't love him because he's attractive. i don't love him because he is (was?) a hollywood darling who happened to co-write a decent movie and win an academy award for it.

i should rephrase this before i continue.

i believe in ben affleck.

people call him uncharismatic, obnoxious, and a tool, among other quite nasty things. i think these accusations are all wrong. i think that he either has a horrible agent or horrible taste in movies, because he just keeps picking terrible, terrible roles. perhaps he is just trying to take some chances, but seriously, when was the last decent movie he made? "changing lanes" was decent, but not great... that was 2002. the last GREAT movie he made was in 2000 - "boiler room." "they say money can't buy happiness? look at the fucking smile on my face. ear to ear, baby."

but what is it exactly that has me 100% convinced that affleck is a good actor?

"dogma." no, not even the entire movie. one scene, a little more than halfway through the movie. the two angels, loki (matt damon) and bartleby (affleck) have just been thrown off of the train to new jersey. they are in a parking garage, assessing the situation.

Bartleby: I was close. You know, I was so close to slittin' that bitch's throat. You know how that felt? Righteous. Justified. Eager, even.

Loki: You all right man? Your eyes are kinda...

Bartleby: My eyes are open. For the first time, I get it. When that little innocent girl let her mission slip, I had an epiphany. See, in the beginning, it was just us and Him, angels and God. Then he created humans. Ours was designed to be a life of servitude and worship... and bowing and scraping and adoration. He gave them more than He ever gave us: He gave them a choice. They choose to acknowledge God, or choose to ignore Him. All this time we've been down here, I've felt the absence of the Divine presence, and it's pained me... as I'm sure it must have pained you. And why? Because of the way He made us. Had we been given free will, we could choose to ignore the pain like they do, but no! We're servants!

Loki: Okay... you know, all I'm sayin' here is that one of us might need a little nap.

Bartleby: [claps hands] Wake up! These humans have besmirched everything He's bestowed upon them. They were given Paradise - they threw it away. They were given this planet - they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don't even believe he exists. And in spite of it all... He has shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I asked you once to lay down the sword, because I felt sorry for them. What was the result? Our expulsion from Paradise! Where was his infinite fucking patience then? It's not right! It's not fair! We've paid our debt. Don't you think it's time? Don't you think it's time we went home? And to do that... I think we may have to dispatch our would-be dispatchers.

Loki: Wait. Wait. Wait. Kill them? You're talking about the Last Scion for Chrissakes! And what about Jay and Bob? I mean... those guys were all right.

Bartleby: Don't. Don't, my friend. See, don't let your sympathies get the best of you. They did me once. Scion or not, she's just a human. And by passing through that arch, our sins are forgiven. No harm, no foul.


that scene gives me chills every single time. he can date all the jennifer lopezs and make all the "gigli"s and "pearl harbor"s and "reindeer games" he wants to... i will maintain my opinion that ben affleck is a fine actor, even -- dare i say it -- a great actor. he just has an agent that likes to put him in terrible movies like it's some kind of awful game.