ever seen "the mask of zorro," with anthony hopkins & antonio bandaras?



there's a scene where don diego de la vega (hopkins) tells his trainee alejandro murietta (bandaras) to "never attack in anger."

if this were applied to the world of blogging, the rule obviously would then be "never blog in anger."

well, i'm about to break this rule. prepare yourselves -- i'm about to blog in anger.

so today is payday. i've practically been counting down the minutes until i could strut into my place of work and say those five magical words: "i'm here for my paycheck."

jason picked me up at 2:20. i arrived at work at 2:23. i strut my way through the glass doors and into the tiny waiting room and looked to the counter where the owner was happily chatting away on the phone. i awkwardly stood between two older men, who were both filling out applications. my old supervisor rufus (remember rufus?) approached me and made awkward small talk.

"rufus, where do i get my paycheck?" i asked him, attempting to cut the skimpy chat short.

"talk to her!" he said, pointing at the owner through the window. the owner harshly smiled and gave me the "give me a damn minute!" finger. rufus excused himself. i looked through the glass doors and saw the rows and rows of green cubicles and my fellow co-workers. i remembered the hollowing despair that came with the job, but how it would all be worth it in fifteen minutes, when my money would be deposited into my bank account and i would be able to spend like a fiend once again.

visions of what i would buy danced in my head. that cute pair of shoes that i desperately need. "east of eden," freshly released on dvd in all its remastered splendor. l'oréal haircolor, such as feria #51 - brazilian brown, or if i were to be stepping out (which i've actually been considering, but that's for another day) feria #67 - cardinal. i couldn't wait for the owner to get off the phone and for her to hand me that beautiful piece of paper that says, "go! spend me!"

suddenly, i saw leonard, my snarky co-worker who had been reassigned across the room. it felt like there was an ocean between us. i missed our witty banter that we were now only able to have during our smoke breaks. leonard waved, and began to approach me. all of a sudden, the very window i'd been waiting nearly three minutes for flew open. "can i help you?" the owner snapped.

"yes," i said, throwing leonard a salute and stepping up to the window. i stated my name and said those magical five words: "i'm here for my paycheck."

she suddenly looked at me with pity deep in her eyes. "between noon and two," she said. "you can only get them then."

i was so taken aback that i didn't immediately focus on her abysmal sentence structure. "what?" i asked, assuming i had heard wrong.

"sorry, honey," she said. "i don't even have them anymore."

i was stunned into silence. i stared at her, shocked. it was as though she had simultaneously burned those shoes, snapped the james dean dvd in two, and dumped my haircolor down the sink.

i slunk out of the building, crossed london road without watching for the inevitable two-way traffic, sank into jason's car, and slammed his door much too hard.

so, in these dark times, i turn once again to "the mask of zorro" to guide me.

de la vega: put it aside.
alejandro murrieta: how? how can i do what is needed, when all i feel is... hate?
de la vega: you hide it with this. [unfurls black mask]

i'm not quite sure what the lesson in that is. maybe don diego de la vega is telling me to become a modern-day duluthian zorro. i will ride my horse into my workplace, tearing through the cubicles and throwing papers around the office. i will seek out my paycheck amidst the screams and cheers of the innocent bystanders. i will face the owner and beat her in a duel, where she will lash out in anger, and i will taunt her with my superior skills. "who are you?" she'll cry in defeat. i will silently and skillfully carve my initials into her desk and ride off into the sunset with my paycheck.



ZORRO RIDES AGAIN!!