NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

worst movie ever. seriously.

i take that back. i have, in fact, seen worse movies. but this goes down in history as the worst sequel i have ever seen. "get shorty" was such an awesome movie. i think the premise of "be cool" was fine, but the execution left much to be desired. i think i would have had an equal if not more amount of fun by taking my $5.50 and flushing it down the toilet, watching it spiral into the depths of the plumbing system.

there were multiple times my brother and i almost walked out.

"why almost?" you ask.







THAT'S WHY.

he was the only thing worth watching the movie for. and damn, he was amazing. every time my brother and i conversed about leaving the movie (which was a surprising amount for not actually doing it), THE ROCK would come onscreen and make me forget that i was hating this movie. i guffawed. i turned to my brother and said, "thank god we didn't miss this!"

and then it switched to fuck, steven tyler.



i love aerosmith. almost enough to wash their socks in lavender water (nice, a reference!). but fuck, man, this guy cannot act. there's a scene where chili palmer is asking steven tyler what he was thinking and feeling when he wrote "sweet emotion." tyler goes on to tell him all about it. chili then attempts to convince tyler that he is completely wrong and that chili, in fact, knew exactly what tyler was thinking about when he wrote the song. and you know what mr. steven tyler said to that?

"..........whoa...... y.... y'know what, chili? i think you're right. i never thought about it like that before."

fuck.

the other saving grace of this movie is this man:



andre 3000. he was fantastic. not as great as THE ROCK, but great nonetheless. especially when he's drinking tea. watch for that.

actually, don't watch for that. don't watch this movie for any reason, unless it's free or you think it's worth paying full price to see vince vaughn make an ass out of himself by yelling "beeeeeeeeyyyyyaaatttccchhhh!!" every ten seconds.

or unless you really want to see THE ROCK. god he was awesome.

now that you've read my movie review riddled with profanity, i leave you with this:



hell yes.